My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
