I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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