nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
