guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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