can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
