How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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