he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
