Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
