so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
