There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
