We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
