margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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