Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
then he tried to convert me to islam
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
