worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
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So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
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I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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