gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I have tasted many bathrooms
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
