I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
