i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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