Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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