my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
