Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
