I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
