I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
But theres a keg here and me gusta
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
