I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
