just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
