I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
