nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
