Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
