I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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