I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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