I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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