So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
