HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"