I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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