you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
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Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
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I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.