i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.