Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.