Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.