This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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