You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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