Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
