I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
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home. puking in laundry basket.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
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pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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