i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
But theres a keg here and me gusta
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
