come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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