White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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