What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
