I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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