She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
