So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
