Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
