if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
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