I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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