You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
How naked do you want me to be?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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