And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
