On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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