I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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