I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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