booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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