I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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