The maid of honor just puked.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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