So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
