i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
