I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize