So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
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