i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize