he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
