So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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