after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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