I just pynch a tree in the face
I looked at my own cervix.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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