theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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