dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
