dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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